Memory – the Past – The Past Is Not Passed!

How Deep a Hold Does the Past Have on You? How Deep Should it Be?
Are you “borrowing trouble” by obsessing about unchangeable events? Some people worry over “the past” so intensely they’re missing out on the present! No Warrior can fail to take in surroundings visible & invisible. That’s our map!

DREAMS – Do you dream frequently of past events? Are they different – worse or better – than what you remember actually occurred? Do you feel nostalgia for a past that never was? Do you have a favorite period in history or a fantasy universe that you wish you lived in, instead of this one?

You CAN change the Past – In fact, it NEEDS to happen. We have to update our map in the light of present knowledge! Many events have a different meaning on mature reflection. Never winning a chess game during my father’s lessons USED to tell me “I wasn’t very bright.” Now grown and a teacher myself it looks different! My Dad was kind of a mean, narcissistic guy to always “have” to win out over an 8 year old! I now realize that part of the Teacher’s lesson is to give us an experience of winning, so we learn how to handle it.

You are the Hero of Your Saga – Accept your centrality in your own myth. It doesn’t matter what other people think – they are the bit players. Think of your past as a Quest Saga. What did you want? How did it change? What blocked you? Get out your Training Journal. What tools have you got at your command? Where do you go from here?

Challenge – To meaningfully rewrite the past, first you first must face its full horror and that effect on you. Generally, because we were children, we didn’t know what was going on, were co-opted by our persecutors and prevented from effective resistance. Things are different now! The hardest thing to accept is that beloved caregivers didn’t REALLY want the best for us – they wanted us to be just like them.

Danger – “I don’t believe in ghosts but I never met a person who wasn’t haunted” is a wise saying. What haunts you? Or who? Ghosts are malignant – if they weren’t they would be power spirits, fairy godmothers or guardian angels. What malignancies from your past are out to get you and how do they make themselves known? One of Freud’s contributions was to point out that people prefer their neurosis – ie imprisonment – to liberation. Why? What’s in it for you? Would you be ‘breaking” with family – with tradition – with groupthink – to rethink the past?

Opportunity – Ultimately the past is sacred, because You became YOU and YOU are a Consecrated Warrior. Yes, you have scars – these are bragging rights! You have been through the wars! ‘Rewriting” the past means coming to a new understanding of what really happened, the limitations of those who surrounded you, and using that to explore your chances and choices today. Even though parents, teachers or “society” sentenced you to play a certain role, you can step out of it at any time. Buddhist thought is very helpful here. Buddha teaches that life itself is an illusion – a dream. It changes depending on how we think about it. In the present, inside your mind, you hold all the keys to your own liberation. Re-visit Pema Chodron’s Noble Heart and Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now (available in any library) to explore how you can assume immediate control of your life and your mind and turn your past into the fuel that powers your growth.

#Haiku: No-Fault Apology

Atone?
Conspire:
Delete:
Rewire
My memory and
Yours; potent
Fire.