SleepingOrchid

Fish – Ambisextrous – Love Opens Us – Empathy Enobles Us

DREAMS – Ever dream of living as the “opposite” sex? (IS there an opposite sex?) Threatening dreams or pleasurable and insightful ones? Do you dream of fetish trophies of gender; makeup, wigs, shoes, sports equipment? Do you have frequent “freedom” dreams: flying, swimming? Wake up damp, pulses pounding? Deep empathy makes us want to BE our own romantic partner, the subject of a lifelong pursuit. This is nothing but the honorable, deepest desire to truly know oneself AND others, to master selfhood and compassion before leaving the planet. C.S. Lewis says we are not a body with a soul, we are Souls with a body.

Challenge – Woody Allen says bisexuality doubles your chances to get a date on Saturday night. Anything wrong with that? Nobody should force themselves to perform sexually; it is important at all times to move as slowly as you feel comfortable with, keeping all options and emotions alive. The sexual revolution was a lot of fun, but it was spoiled for many people by a witless prejudice against “reserve.” Revulsion and doubt tell us plenty. We are on this earth to hone our “gut” instinct as well as our sensitivities. Gavin de Becker, danger specialist, reminds us that fear is a “gift.” Honor it.

Danger – Most “bad sex” stories start with substance abuse, undertaken with a nervous desire to get into a more relaxed or even transcendental state; and all it actually does is skip over the “informed consent” part that is such an important feature of identity and will. Predators with a need for speed drug their prey! Afterwards the complex feelings of violation and shame take a life time to deal with. These facts mean we must study trust BEFORE we study sex. What is trust? Safety? Honor? Let’s work on those issues while we develop a free space to evolve, experiment and grow.

Opportunity – Fresh interpretations of gender make this a glorious time to be alive. I can recall when gender was a prison sentence of compulsion and rigidity! Now it is an invitation to live more fully, to experience oneself and others more richly, to participate in that fruitful, heavenly life for which we all yearn.

Mantra –
Imaginatively Connect