SleepingOrchid

Recovery & Rebirth –You’re the Pilot

We all make mistakes. But we don’t need to carry them forever.

DREAMS – Dreaming of rebirth? “The bad news is time flies – the good news is, you’re the pilot.“ Recovery begins to happen we repel a demonic force that kept us in thrall – could be addiction, illusion, corruption, compulsive behavior; even a poisonous culture. Were we hostage to another human being who didn’t have our best interests at heart? This requires deep thought about what our “best interests” really are. As our brains clear we see exciting possibilities. Ernest Hemingway used to say we are “stronger at the broken places”; Nietzsche expressed it as “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. Rumi said “Light comes in through the cracks.” Healing provides peace as well as joy. We give thanks that we have begun the journey.

Challenge:
Second Chances are about EXPECTING to stumble. We don’t look for “perfection” any more, now that we understand experiential learning – not to mention basic physics. Watching toddlers try to “rise and walk” we must consider it lucky that they don’t mind being laughed at. (In fact, they love it.) It takes them time to figure out this new challenge. Like beginning skiers, they cling to objects, sway exaggeratedly back and forth, slam into others, and plop down SPLAT; not just once or twice but over and over. In fact the toddler hasn’t been born who suddenly vaults up suavely and starts swanning around in a sophisticated manner. Embrace the last steps of Recovery: “Expect to go splat.” Of course we don’t WANT to – fingers crossed – it’s dangerous and bruising. We’d better arrange to have someone around – just in case. But you don’t fail unless you refuse to rise again. Don’t even bother counting the times you were “brave”. It’s only the “getting back up” that counts. As long as you’re sill doing that, you’re a true winner.

Danger – Life never goes the way we planned. There’s the excitement of finding a plan, investigating goals, making them ours, and committing to the plan – and then there’s living the plan. Suddenly we don’t know how to get through the next ten minutes – worse, we can make a “big mistakes” without full consciousness. The rational self we’ve planned for fails to show up and instead we turn into some irrational monster who threatens damage when momentarily frustrated.

Learning is a sport. Allow each new behavior to penetrate every fiber of your whole body. Rehearse over and over. (10,000 times?) It’s ALL mistakes at first. Our mental concepts of “perfection” and “purity” are completely misplaced here; this is more about forming calluses over tender new skin. It feels funny at first, sore. It might actually “hurt.” We’re on the early steps of a long journey to a wonderful place; and we won’t get there unless we forgive ourselves, pick ourselves up and keep going.

Opportunity –
The phenomenon of “dry drunk” is relevant here. The phrase refers to the state of envying those who “indulge” and feeling that we are somehow lesser, damaged beings because we “can’t.” How does this regret pertain to mindful living? We are pledged to contrast planned empowerment with benumbed abandon. Think about what this means. Who envies loss of consciousness? Wouldn’t it be better to remove the source of the pain, remove the shame we are escaping from? Is this nostalgic fantasy really some faint memory of union, with an equally desperate horde standing in for the lost, beloved Other? What would it mean to give up these blind yearnings, this cultivated pain and these unbearable memories to lead a fresh, released and intentional life? It means accepting and becoming a new self in all our exquisitely uniqueness, exploring everything that implies. Recovery is “self-forgiveness”; going forward with a clear-eyed, honest appraisal of ourselves, resources and desires. “I am free”

MANTRA

“I DESERVE TO HEAL”