SleepingOrchid

Memory = THE PAST “Where did you come from?”

In Memory lies our Identity. There are probably no sadder words than “I don’t remember you.” We are born with wild, unexplored dreams and we spend our lives trying to live up to them by learning & acquiring partnership, discipline & practice. Memory is the foundation of art, science and law as we try to reflect back what we have learned. Memory gives us the words to say to build and express our emotions & intent. Luckily our bodies have memories, too. Memory resides in hearing, touch, taste, sight and muscle; long after words have gone.

Past Patterns – Sometimes we recognize a pattern coming around again, but more often, we don’t. We’re accustomed to treating each new crisis as if it blew in out of nowhere. This is where journaling can really pay off for us as we ask a series of questions: have I been here before? And what did it look like that time? Is there anything different – really new – about now? We can learn from other people’s patterns and other people’s pasts, as well. Sometimes we only see a situation clearly when it’s happening to someone else! What advice does our past self have to give us – our cockier, more youthful self? How about our wiser self – the mature self who can see the whole picture — the one who’s “arrived”?

Memory is not just who we are, memory is where we live. Memories change, as we change. Different aspects of our own story emerge into importance as we evolve. Previously, we might not have even noticed aspects of our own story that we now see as key. This has important implications for the presentation of self that is critical to our connection with another person. Yet we are prepared for this other to dramatically transform the way we see ourselves; to alter our past as well as empowering our future. There is an Official Version of our past we like to tell others as we introduce ourselves; now is the time to ponder the Secret Version.

Is it secret because it is shameful? Soul Love is not an opportunity to escape our past but to heal it. That toxic shame may be the exact lens through which you and the Soulmate first “see” each other. Your connection will start as a series of conversations, which may be physical, verbal, or non-verbal. In literature, the tale of Cupid & Psyche embodies these processes, as Psyche (“The Soul”) first thinks she is married to a monster with whom she can only mate in darkness. She ‘steals a glance” at him when he is sleeping but, when he catches her, he is furious and flees. The plot twist: he was actually a beautiful young man, but he was not ready to reveal himself. The “monster” was his toxic shame. How does the story end? You will find out.

ON BEING DISINHERITED

These are the tasks
Performed without feeling;
The snipping the
Slashing
The shredding
Bundling into bunches
You are the remote ogre
And I the crying child.
Why do partitioned pieces
Melt before they touch?
You fear to give;
I am helpless to receive.
Suppose we changed places.
Would that explain
Your fear of me?