Synchronicity=EDUCATION: “What do you need to learn?”

Synchronicity is more than symbiosis, more than coincidence. Like all true serendipity it contains an element of magic. If the bubbling primordial stew hadn’t brought the right ingredients together at the right time, life as we know I simply couldn’t have begun. There’s strong element of synchronicity in teamwork, as in all collaborative media. We feel the rise and fall of others’ energy and must exactly time our moment to chime in. It’s the Trust Game writ large across the heavens; the magic of need producing the miracle of response creates the synchronicity of Life.

Interpersonal Relationships: Let’s think about our interpersonal relationships as a series of concentric circles. There are people on the outmost rings whom we recognize but exchange no words with and know nothing about, down to the closest, tightest ring, where we maybe know too much about those people, possibly feel stifled, even a bit unchallenged by their presence in our lives. And our closest relationships may actually merge into our own space, and we can’t tell where we end and the other person begins. What does it take to become our friend? Are there once close people whom we have banished to the outer distance? How did that happen? Any people we long to bring closer who seem stubbornly resistant to our charms? Do we notice any pattern in the way we relate to others? A favorite game therapists play is “Find the Father/Mother”. In other words are we recreating any original family dynamics with other people we may know? (Critic, sugardaddy, permission giver, etc.) This game can be extended to “Find the Sibling” as we study ways we may be competitive or conspiring against a “common enemy” with fellow workers or even friends. The goal of this enterprise? To be more conscious, less rigid. We’re going to “work” this circle. It is not going to “work” us!

Challenge – Being “in synch” requires understanding where the other person is coming from and feeling confident that they understand where you’re coming from. (And going to.) Do you enjoy learning? You’d better, because we have a lot of it ahead of us. Horribly, some people decide to settle down because THEY’RE TIRED OF LEARNING. They yearn for unchanging, static conditions! Yet your soulmate represents an entirely new world, and between the two of you, you will be creating another one. So there will be lots of learning going on. If you are really phobic about “learning”, now’s your time to figure out why. It may be that you hate “tests”, which is a perfectly acceptable human reaction to stress conditions, but you love gaming. In other words, YOU LOVE TO LEARN, aren’t afraid of challenges and relish the acquisition of new skills and worldviews, but you had BAD SCHOOLING EXPERIENCES. You can see that’s entirely different, but it’s still helpful to know. The more your partnership resembles “school’ (with one of you as teacher/judge) the more unpleasant it’s going to be. So prepare to match your quest to the type of exploration you LIKE to do and most importantly, talk about it. Your partner can’t read your mind and people are often shy and can’t find the words to quantify their emotion. But between the two of you will FIGURE IT OUT. “I don’t know what I’m feeling – maybe panic with a dash of dread?” you can help each other to analyze and assess. You’ll be talking not just about your relationship, but every relationship either of you has ever had. “I’m afraid to look back/talk or even think about this,” is an acceptable opening bid. And throughout this process, you’ll get closer.

#HAIKU: Duet becomes

trio makes
quartet engenders
chorus creates
bliss